The life I need.

I play video games too much, and I should stop.

This will be the statement central to today's discussion, so read it carefully.

I've been gaming for a long time. I have fond memories, in fact, dating back to the halcyon days of 1999, playing our family's Sega- a racing game, which I sat watching for hours, transfixed by the ever-changing colours and dancing pixels. I didn't reason this at the time, though. Rather, gaming was simply an amusing way of passing the time, and could easily be likened to playing with Lego, or watching old episodes of Pokémon on tape.

Unlike Ash's nomadic adventures, or my beloved uniform plastic bricks, though, gaming has stuck with me until now. This in itself doesn't mean a great deal- adults who fished or skated as kids still indulge in these activities on a regular basis, don't they? And up until recently, I didn't give it much thought. With nearly half the world's population having played a Call of Duty game, and 'gaming' itself being more or less intrinsic of modern pop culture, it has always been easy enough to find like minded souls, and in this way, to justify several times over this habit and its implications- or lack there of, as I always figured.

Because practically everyone I know aged similarly to myself games. We game at home, we game at our friends' places, we game during the day, and into the small hours of the night. And when we aren't gaming we talk about gaming, think about gaming. We may hide from the stress of everyday life, of work and school and relationships, instead choosing to hide in a perfect, blissful place where we are granted absolute anonymity and the freedom to slam others, to 'make friends', to shoot, stab, kill and generally put our angst and worries behind us. Who wouldn't want this?

YouTube lies in the middle of what I believe to be the modern version of  Golding's "essential human illness".  A community where anyone can seek, and often find, worth in their lives, in the form of something as meaningless as a thumbs up. YouTube has bred a generation of kids searching so desperately to fit in that they will forgo having an actual opinion in favour of a comment or attitude that they know will earn them support. Support from who? A 16 year old in California, thousands of miles away, who happens to...what? Play the same game as you?

Practically no effort goes in to making a gameplay/commentary on YouTube. We might respect guys that post up huge scores, but who hasn't known the joys of a well-planned spawn trap in their life times? I am so fucking sick and tired of seeing people's comments as "nth nuke"- I don't care, and anyone who does really needs to take a good, long, hard look at themselves and the empty life they have. Because while video games might provide a few hours thrills at a time, deep down, we know it isn't doing us any good, and for me at least, almost any other activity gives me at the very least vague sense of fulfillment.

I am going to quit gaming. Let me rephrase: I am going to try and quit gaming. I realise that nothing is actually holding me back- this isn't smoking. I know no one is with me, but that's the point (except, apparently, Ukrainian Limbs). I will find other ways to fill my time, and I won't think longingly back to these bygone days with nostalgia. I will feel sad, considering what I could have achieved in this time, in lieu of slaying Old King Doran, killing thousands of SpetSnaz operatives, surviving several zombie apocalypses. Gaming will one day die, and I won't be entrenched in the pitiful community that faithfully obeys it when that happens; I will have transcended gaming altogether.

Thanks for reading.