Saturday, November 12, 2011

Raconte-moi une histoire, hein!

Il y avait une fois un garçon plutôt méchant. En fait, il se comportait d'une manière si mauvaise que sa maman a dû l'envoyer au lit. Quelle catastrophe!

Se plaignant, il ne voulait rien faire. En effet, sans être fatigué, le sommeil ne servirait à rien en plus. Il vaudrait pas la peine. Se réfléchant à sa situation, il a décidé d'agir. Au moins, suivant ses exploits, il pourrait mieux s'endormir, n'est-ce pas?

Voici alors ce qu'il a fait: il allait ouvrir la fenêtre, et il a commencé à monter l'abre ce qui se trouvait juste à côté de chez lui. Il y visiterait souvent, chaque fois qu'il se sentait entouré par les histoires de sa famille cassé. Son papa violent; sa maman ivre.

Là-dedans, Monsieur Lapin s'asseyoit presque immobile, fumant. La fumée, doucement, chatouillait le visage du bonhomme.

<< T'as pas l'air bien. Qu'est-ce qui t'es arrivé? >> Le sourire du Lapin était tout à fait faux.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

How to watch Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire

So I've been watching a lot of Mad Men lately with my sister. In fact, after countless hours spent enthralled by the exploits of Don, we concluded that the show served as an essay on the failings of 1950s America, so often shrouded in the veneer that only expensive suits, smoking indoors, drinks before 9am, implicit racism, explicit sexism, misogyny, hostile takeovers and wiggle dresses creates.

I'm historically poor at participating in any sort of visual media. In fact, as far as comprehension goes, a twenty minute episode of The Simpsons is more-or-less exhausting my capacity. My friends assume I have seen Inception dozens of times because I find the shaky premise engaging and compelling. No. I just want to understand the premise, and above all, learn the names of the cast. Does there really have to be so many? Classic James Bond films? Forget about it- more than one villain and we might as well flag it. It's a wonder I don't fail my classes.

So you might assume that shows as multifaceted as these two would prove something of an impossibility, and yes: they are. Sure, I've managed to learn the names of Knucky, James and Margaret, Don, Betty and Peggy, but beyond this, the suits tend to blend into one, homogeneous grey blur. I become distressed at the sight of an apparently familiar character, despite their not registering with me in the slightest. I cry as new storylines play out, clutching as I battle to recall previous ones.

Thus, I've been forced to engineer ways to better understand the oncscreen antics in these shows. These are by no means foolproof; rather, my paltry comprehension can be focused onto a single plot thread, and hell, I might end up being able to précis events on monday at school. Now, if only I didn't have that crippling speech impediment... God I miss Pokémon.

1) Don't worry which characters are sleeping with each other. People in the 60s had the magical ability of being able to sideline their passions without letting meaningless copulation impinge on their psyches and inducing a depressing questioning of their existences. And you thought we had it great.

2) Montages of people being shot: these tend to be a common occurrence, especially in Boardwalk Empire. Much to my dismay, these generally leave me confused as to which vendetta is being exacted, and which waring factions are getting revenge for past wrongdoings. My advice: don't think too hard, just revel in the panning shots of blood on walls, conveniently at the same time as a gun goes off-... oh...

3) Why is prohibition so poorly enforced? A better question- why was prohibition proposed in the first instance? An even more frightening notion- could it happen again? Oh, the terror!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I am in Asia

check it: last night I almost walked in to a Burmese drag queen in a back alley, but it didn't bother me. This is what being in Asia does to you.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I know it's been a significant period of time since my last post, meager thought it was. Historically, we bloggers provide excuses for these absences, so what is mine? Well, I'm exceptionally lazy, for one, and there was that earthquake...

Since it's been so long, I'll provide a little recap of the ensuing events in my great life:

  • Our house lost pretty much anything even vaguely resembling water pressure for two weeks. Suffice to say my hair was downright filthy for a period of time, so much so that we resorted to paying to have it washed at the local salon (for a "bargain" special post quake price of $5!).
  • School has restarted, albeit to an extremely confusing timetable, and shared classrooms with Avonside Girls' School. So confusing, in fact, that in the last two weeks I have managed to go to my french class twice, only to be told by year 9s that I am in the wrong place. How embarrassing...
  • My sister turned nineteen! She picked up tights and a copy of a Frankie for her troubles, and myself a free pizza and glass of delicious Apple Cider for mine. Classic!
  • The new Fleet Foxes album was released- er, leaked, I should say. I am listening to it as I type this, much in the same way that I have been for the last week. It's just a shame that I have only been enjoying it for three days of that, but good things take time and all that.
  • My headphones finally arrived from quake/tsunami stricken Japan. The are great, especially when I can't bear being subjected to that top 40 shit at the gym, nor the puffing and wheezing of old men next to me on the rowing machine.
  • I finally have grasped the points course structure of engineering at university. Never mind that I have no interest in engineering itself- as far as I am concerned, nothing could be so baffling as those charts that in hindsight are embarrassingly simple.
  • I took this cool picture at the park opposite my place last Sunday evening in nice light:

  • Also, during the course of several plumbers fixing our pressure, someone fucked up, and there was a several metre high parabola of water shooting across the road. Here's what it looked like:

 Thanks for reading, and looking.