The Art of Conversation.

This title is misleading (I thought it would attract more attention from my one follower). It has a douchy, superior air to it almost as though I know what I'm talking about and/or am vaguely proficient at the subject matter (i.e. making conversation). Know this: I'm not.

"Isn't he cute? his name's Wilson!"

Not that I am horrendous at chatting aimlessly with people. I have tact; my parents made sure I knew the golden rule of conversation: ask questions. It's easy to talk for some indefinite amount of time about your kids, your recently purchased lorikeet, your sweet kill/death ratio. And I don't at all find it difficult to talk with my close friends or my family. But faced with the task of filling in a few minutes with my old tennis coach -now a bearded, grizzly looking booze hound- it often seems insurmountable. And in my panic, I forget that Gary doesn't want to hear about my life just as much as I don't give a damn about his.

Armed with this precious knowledge, I should be fine. Indeed, recently perousing Wikihow's ways to make conversation I found that for the most part, I was already well familiar with their advice. Be confident, prepare yourself, exit gracefully, and the likes. This article seems quite self-deprecating, and the reality is that I'm no less awkward than the next 16 year old boy. But when I picture myself and the life I'll likely lead in 20 years time, struggling to make small talk doesn't fit in. A life of dinner parties, suits, luxury cruises, high salaries, business class travel- and great conversation.

When I think of conversation pros, I look to my mother. Every time one of her children would drag her to their friend's place, forcing her to chat with their mother, she wouldn't bat an eyelid. My father's bank dos? No problem. From what I have observed there is no magic solution, a cheat code, as it were, to make conversation easily. And she does admit that after an evening of it, she's exhausted.

Yeah... maybe I'll just be a forest-dwelling hermit instead. At least my cat Roger doesn't care what I say to him.